Ok… People reading this (hahahaha… like there’s actually REAL people reading this!! hahahahaha) are going to think I’m cracked in the skull!! My post yesterday was angry and… more angry… and used lots of “potty mouth” words! Today’s post, I am in happy land!!! la la la!! For starters, I’ve been attempting DESPERATELY to lose some weight… Like I said in my “about me” section (and I wasn’t being down on myself, I wasn’t joking, I am SERIOUS!!) I am chubby!!! Not morbidly obese… not even obese really, just chubby… and on a 5’2″ frame, chubby looks something akin to shamu… Ok.. ok… I know.. tangent… must rein in mouth…er, fingers???
So, I’ve been trying desperately to lose some weight, the whole “healthy bodyweight” and pregnancy thing… helping with the PCOS (I DID mention that’s part of the reason for my infertility right???) and up till now, I have gotten NOTHING for my hard work (other than the measly 5lbs the wii-fit told me I lost, which I have now chalked up to merely a difference in scales), and then, in a miracle moment of mental breakdown, I tried on “THE dress”. And it actually FIT!!!! woooooooooot!!! I bought this dress for a wedding. (first clothing purchase online EVER!! -and probably my LAST!!) Made a mistake on the ordering page while trying to scroll down to the “finalize purchase” button…. forgot to click off the size selection window… ended up with a dress almost 2 sizes too small…. even MORE stupid is the fact that I WAITED to buy it until it was on clearance…. NO returns/exchanges… boourns!!! So yeah… “THE dress” was relegated back into it’s itty bitty shipping box with the tissue paper, until we moved and I decided to “let it out” so to speak.. into the closet anyway… the very very BACK of the closet… where I hoped to never see the reminder of my stupidity and shame… until last night… I had a bad day… (if you’re feeling REALLY brave, or aren’t easily offended, see yesterday’s post) and to worsen matters, I decided to start looking for a NEW dress for ANOTHER wedding. ugh… after speaking with my M.I.L. (who’s actually really really wonderful) and having her suggest ANOTHER dress I own, (which, looks fabulous, but makes me feel like crap for totally un-fashion-related reasons — a story for another day) I sat myself down for a good cry… and it was there… out of the corner of my eye, a flash of blue silk with embroidered black mesh overtop… with sparkles (ok… that sounds TOTALLY lame… but i’ll post a pic of “THE dress” and you’ll see it’s not all that bad!!)… and I thought, what the hell, this day can’t get any suckier… so I unzip the side zipper, pull the thing over my head, and proceed to brace myself for the wrestling match, and ensuing dissapointment at my still-corpulent state…. but wait!!! The zipper moved… and then moved some more…. and a little more… and HOLY CRAP!!!! I got the damn thing on!!! WOOOOHOOOO!!!!
(yes, I kept the picture… yes I’m neurotic.. but i’m used to it!!!)