While surfing blogland today, I came across a couple of things that bother me. It’s all really moot, but I just felt like I had to get the ideas out of my head.
Obviously I’m not the first, only, or last IF sufferer to encounter the “relax” comment, nor the “why not just adopt, you’ll get pregnant for SURE then!!” (this reminds me of the new “have a baby for love” volkswagon commercials) SURE!!! I’ll just go pick up THIS baby at the supermarket and they’ll GIVE me a fetus for FREE!!!! omg, why didn’t we try this before!!! It should be FIRST on the list for EVERY RE’s treatment of infertility!!! Ridiculous??? Yeah, just a little. What gets me there too, is that people who are pregnant, and MISERABLE, it’s NOT ok for someone to just say, “well, maybe you SHOULDN’T have relaxed!” or, “why didn’t you just adopt, then you wouldn’t HAVE to deal with pregnancy.” NO ONE tells fertiles these things!!!
However, the ONE comment that I read about today REALLY kills me. “Why don’t you adopt a special needs child?”
Uh, excuuu-uuse me????
My first gut-shot response is: and why don’t YOU????
It’s like, well, since you can’t have what you want, you should just settle. It’s like wanting the boston cream donut, and everyone else got one… and you’re left with the crappy dutchie… the stale one…
I know this sounds REALLY REALLY awful. Truthfully, if I could afford it, I’d have a house FULL of kids, special needs and otherwise. I’ve applied for foster-parent status (and was turned down because hubby’s in the military and therefore our homelife is considered “unstable”). But why is it, that NO ONE would walk up to a pregnant woman and say “You should have adopted a special needs child!!!” NO ONE calls them selfish for HAVING kids… but for some reason, because we have trouble having kids, we ARE being selfish for wanting our “OWN” baby!! Does this make ANY SENSE????!!!!!
Not to me it doesn’t. So, if you’re reading this, and you’re guilty of the assvice to an infertile couple, please stop and think before you speak. Better yet, go out and get yourself a nice “special needs” kid. I’m sure they’ll feel right at home with their new idiot assvice-giving parents.