I’m so damn lazy right now… I’m not even writing original posts. I’m stealing them from baby.cen.ter.ca forum posts that I’ve made… heh… then again, how much do YOU feel like doing when you’re not allowed to do anything much more than hobble your dry-heaving ass to the bathroom and desperately search your kitchen for something to eat that DOESN’T make you gag??? I spent a good chunk of this lunch hour crying to my husband (from across the room, the food HE ate for lunch was making me gag) “I’m STARVING!!! and I’m NAUSEOUS!!! and I am NOT HAPPY!!! I want to EAT dammit!!”… So yeah.. needless to say, we’re having fun times. I’m still desperately happy to even BE pregnant, and I feel like a complete and utter a$$ for spending an inordinate amount of time crying and complaining, but for realz?? How much time can one person spend hunched over the porcelain god, dry heaving because they’ve not been able to eat more than a single pudding and some toast (that they immediately puked up) ALL day???!!!! This is INSANE!!! I will be ridiculously happy when I can at least feel movement and stop worrying so much that something is wrong…. which, leads me to the following, which is the post I made to a first time mom who’s freaking out because she can’t have an ultrasound until 20 weeks because her pregnancy is COMPLETELY normal, after a COMPLETELY normal conception within the first two monts of going off BCP, and she’s WORRIED, desperately, make-yourself-sick almost to the point of hospitalization worried. Neurotically, hypertensively worried. And she’s only bloody 23!!*
You can officially lump me in with the worrywart group now… Which is funny, because I WASN’T until something actually went wrong**, and even though I’ve had an ultrasound to confirm everything’s ok, I still worry.***
I think part of it is just preparing us for motherhood, and in all honesty, worrying about our little beans is only going to get worse as they get older.
My DD is almost 8, and I still worry about her every single day. I worry if she’s going to be safe walking to/from school, I worry about if other kids are being nice to her, or if they are teaching her bad habits, I worry about her remembering her homework and doing well in school. I worry about her getting hurt when she goes out to play… and I STILL check on her in the middle of the night to make sure she’s breathing!!!
The key of it all, is to not let the worries consume us. No matter WHAT we do, no matter HOW much we worry, sometimes things just happen. I know that’s not very relieving, but being a mom of a VERY accident prone child, I’ve had to learn to let things roll off a bit, and NOT drive myself nuts worrying!! (otherwise I’d probably be in a straightjacket!!) I’ve learned to laugh off the little things, and just enjoy every day I have with my Jellybean, and my wonderful DD.
*I know.. that makes me sound like an asshole… but REALLY there IS a huge difference between 23 and almost-28… almost-28 is ALMOST 30- and yes, I admit that scares the living hell out of me
**Didn’t see the post about Scary $#it?? Maybe you should go back and do your homework!! -the short version: I had a “threatened miscarriage”; this means blood, and fear, and a trip to the emergency room
***No sex and “partial” bedrest (wtf does that even MEAN, dammit!!??) will cause unecessary worry, most likely caused by boredom, and too much internet/googling time due to lack of being able to do much of anything else
On another note- for those of you who’re doing the math- I was 16 days shy of my 20th birthday when my daughter was born. It’s amazing that I never once took her for granted or regretted having her… it’s almost like my sub-conscious knew what would come eventually, and that I would feel like the BIGGEST asshole if I ever DID take her for granted!! But THAT my friends is a story for another post.. one that I may just do right now, since I have NOTHING better to do!!