On Leaks: I was wearing ice packs in my bra for most of last week- I get the cushy heat/ice bean bag things- they work great!! To help with the engorgement from my milk coming in. It worked great!! My breasts stopped hurting, and this week I’ve been accessory free in the chestal-area. Obliviously thinking my chesty woes were over… until yesterday. And now, I have discovered a not-so-new use for all my pantyliners- breast pads!!!! Woohoo!!! My poor husband, as if all the other things going on weren’t crap enough, the poor man now has to deal with a leaky wife!! It’s not too much trouble- just an inconvenience. I’ve decided that I prefer pantyliners to actual breast pads anyhow- breast pads bunch up and move- pantyliners don’t!! 😀

For the paperwork: I spent a good chunk of yesterday in pity-party mode after speaking with vital stats. I was informed that all the paperwork I had to fill out at the hospital was USELESS. I would NOT be receiving either birth or death certificates for my son- unless I filled out MORE paperwork myself and PAID for them to be sent to me- oh goody goody gosh!! Am I excited now!! So yeah… I downloaded the forms, and proceeded to fill them out. It wasn’t too bad actually until I got to the box to fill out “age” on the death certificate. And I was lost- I didn’t have one goddamn CLUE what the hell I was supposed to put there- do I write in 4hours??? Do I leave it blank?? I put a line through it- because I didn’t know what to do- and I don’t trust these people to not fuck up and make the mistake of thinking I meant 4years. Because I think that one more mistake from insensitive morons would end very badly for me right now. (and by badly, I mean that I’m about |—–| this far away from LITERALLY ripping someone’s head off and s#!%$ing down their neck).

As far as the morons go- I am still more-or-less in shock at the enormous amount of insensitive moronacy of the people who work at my OB’s office. (I’m pretty sure I just invented a word there- I don’t think moronacy is in the dictionary!! :S) I haven’t posted about this yet- because it took me almost a week to actually manage to wrap my head around it- thinking about it got me so upset I was worried I might have a coronary… So to actually tell the story:

I had an appt. with my OB already booked when TheWeekFromHell occurred. I was told by the hospital to keep that appt. to see my OB- for a post-pregnancy check up. Maybe I should have called the clinic to warn them, but since the OB I saw in the hospital had sent letters to BOTH my OB AND the OB on call who had sent me to the hospital, I assumed that the staff would be apprised of my situation, and being PROFESSIONALS and all (I used to work at the clinic- so I know the procedures pretty well there) I assumed they would be well aware of what went down, and would be appropriately sensitive. My bad!

I walked up to the desk, gave my name and appt. time. The stupid cow at the desk- grabs my file and proceeds to ask me if I want to go do my lab first. I choked. I politely informed her that I was not there for a prenatal check, while trying not to have a mental breakdown. She at this point, has opened my file to look for the lab slip, that SHOULD have been in there- if I was still pregnant, and is STILL not even looking at ME- and snaps “Why not?”  I answered “because I’m not pregnant anymore.” Still aggravatedly looking for the slip, and STILL not looking at me she snaps “What do you mean?”

I don’t know how on earth I managed to not scream at her- but I managed to stammer out a very abbreviated version of what had happened. I ALSO don’t know how on earth I managed to not blubber like an idiot. This COW- didn’t even bat an eyelash. STILL not even acknowleging me, she spouts off about my doc being late because he got called in to do a delivery at the hospital. So I asked if I could reschedule- and she GOT MAD AT ME!!!! It wasn’t enough for her to be a snarly snarky bitch while I was explaining to her that my baby was DEAD- but then she gets MAD because I refused to spend 2 hours sitting in a waiting room full of other pregnant women while I’m on the verge of a mental breakdown. It wasn’t like I was being rude, or even expecting special treatment- quite frankly, rescheduling that appt. was doing them a favor!!! It was one less patient to see, and one less person to put them that much further behind.

My husband stepped in at that point, and I started making my way to the elevator with my daughter. There was no way I could take the stairs- even though, I managed to NOT break down until we got outside. I still don’t know how I managed to hold on as long as I did. Especially considering that the day of that appt. – was the one week anniversary of my son’s birth, and death.

Some people just suck!!!

*for those of you who I KNOW will be outraged and incensed about that shitty receptionist- I DID make a complaint to the clinic and informed them that they’d be well served to get a better system in place for MAKING SURE that their staff don’t make that kind of mistake again. I also made a comment about initiating mandatory senstivity training…*