Yesterday was a bad day… I posted because I KNOW all of teh internets was just waiting with bated breath to see how Clomid – The Sequel worked out for me.

It didn’t. Not just I didn’t get pregnant – no, I didn’t even ovulate. When I said EPIC FAIL- I meant it. So does this mean I have tertiary infertility??? Because I started off with a “pill baby”- worked my way up to Clomid- and now we’re DOUBLING the clomid after my “second” pregnancy (I’m not counting the first- before my daughter- ectopic or the two?? chemical pregnancies).

It DID happen to wipe that smug-ass self-satisfied look off Dr. K’s face though… He thought he had everything all worked out… he actually said to me- that I’d “NEVER have to see him again because he’d already written the template- ANY moron could follow it now” (this is paraphrased somewhat- I don’t think he actually used the word moron, it was just strongly implied) … HAH- take THAT asshole- you’re STAR patient just bootfucked your stats!!! bwahahahhahaaha!!!

So, while the doc didn’t make me cry this time, I have held with my winning streak of bawling like a lamb seperated from it’s mama on the 2 hour drive home. (I’m beginning to think THIS is why my husband comes with- so I don’t have to try to drive WHILE crying like a little bitch).

I’ve now had the threat of injectables. It was skirted up until now- never really brought up as even a possibility. Because of my age- it was assumed with a little bit of medicinal assistance- I’d be pregnant in no time at all- and infertility would just be a small blip on my radar. And it almost worked out that way too. I have the advantage of being young – I’m only 28 and my husband is only turning 29 next month- but after 3 years of trying, it still feels like time is running out. Until yesterday, I still lived with the belief that this was going to be easy- that I was going to be one of the “lucky” ones. Uber fertile- with medical assistance. Now I realize that I was wrong- none of this has been “easy”- and it sure doesn’t seem that it’s going to GET easy anytime soon. At least I can count my blessings that if I DO have to move up to injectables- it’s not something I’ve never done before. (I used to do my own depo shots- It’s an advantage of being a nurse, I guess!) Yep- that’s me… trying to stay positive…. someone slap me!

~c~

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