Well colored me not surprised- but here I go again…

Round 3 has begun in earnest, and judging by the state of my nether (a.nal) regions I know that at the very least, the metformin is doing it’s job. This is assuming that having the oh-so-fun side effect I affectionately call “asshole-burning-liquid-napalm-shits” is indicative of it working. Of course, if side effects were actually a good indicator of something working, well, then I’d have to claim an epic fail on that point as well, given the menopausal-like pits of flaming hell hot flashes I experienced during “Clomid: The Sequel” last month. (can I tell how MUCH I am looking forward to the doubled dose this month???)

and wtf… my cat is licking my toes!! ok…

In other news, I joyfully received (or is it recieved?? f’n stupid spelling rule) pictures from the first day of PMG’s vacation. From her OWN camera (no- I am neither rich, nor stupid or crazy enough to give my child a brand-new digital camera, I gave her our “old” battery-whore digital Fugi that we replaced). She is taking the most ridiculous pictures- the worst I’ve seen, and has left me scarred for life is my not-aging-well ex (her bio-father, referred to as Fucktard when not in my daughter’s presence- and thus, this is how he will be referred to here- or FT for short) sitting- TOPLESS. Now I’m not a prude, and let’s face facts- uh, I’ve seen him naked-(and good lord knows how many other people, I WAS a nurse after all- remind me to tell you the story about the pantsless guy) but call me shallow- he looked good then- he was in shape… he was slim… he was not fat and grey and slouchy. He also wasn’t my ex- and this DOES make a difference I’m sure- it’s like trying to admit that deep down inside that person you openly revile is someone you actually kinda like and envy. Most of the pictures are actually quite wonderful, even if I can’t quite figure out what some of them are, and she is having a WONDERFUL time. Her first plane ride was awesome!! Even if she didn’t get any pictures on the flight- and GAWD I wish I’d had MY camera with me- cuz I sooooo would have mugged with the pilot and co-pilot of the plane… in the cockpit… because they actually let me IN THERE!!! wooohoo!!

With unaccompanied minors on the plane- they get to go on FIRST (and get off last) for security reasons- they usually get to meet the pilot, and they also get to have a tour of the plane (if there’s time). I have the distinction of having a very self-sufficient, confident and fearless child. While one of the other kids was bawling to be going alone, and the grandmother of two was sniffling away- I put on a brave face while my daughter chatted up the pilot who’d come out to chat to the stewardesses (I know there’s a more politically correct way to put that, I just can’t think of what they’re using now) and stretch his legs- he asked PMG if she wanted to see the cockpit- and that was that- she practically RAN down the thingy (the hallway that goes to the plane- I don’t know what the hell it’s called) barely pausing to turn around and say goodbye. Or I love you… or thank you mom for letting me fly by myself- on my first plane ride EVER- half way across the country to see the deadbeat fuckwad who I haven’t seen in over a year… nada

So, the stewardess being the most awesomest woman ever (and having a daughter, like mine, who thinks nothing of trotting off sans the formalities of making mommy feel better and clinging just a little damn bit) let me go down to the plane to wrangle a hug and kiss… and thus, I got my first tour of the cockpit of a plane- and it is COOL!!! Now, this shouldn’t come as a surprise that I’m lame, and I’m pretty sure that almost EVERY SINGLE PERSON who’s ever flown has probably seen the cockpit of a plane- but goddammit- it was still f’n COOL!!!! And small… after seeing the size of it- I wouldn’t be at all surprised to learn that the people they parade around as pilots are all for show- and the REAL pilots are gnomes. I would have to say, that flying a plane is most definitely not for the claustrophobic, even my short-ass self, at 5’1 3/4″ tall, felt crammed in like a sardine… Did I mention it was SOOOO COOL!!!???

And that was the start of MY vacation… erm- sort of… my husband is still working, this is just a “mommy vacay”… I don’t get to go anywhere or do anything..(I’m poor yo!!) but I get to behave as if I am childless for a whole WEEK!!!! (hahahaha- anyone who’s ever spent time away from their children will tell you, they will spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about their kids and wondering what they’re doing and if they miss their mommy). So far- I have gone out for coffee WITH my husband and two of the guy’s he works with at 11 at NIGHT!!! And no planning a week in advance!!! (I’m a rebel!!) then, I slept till NOON!!! – actually that’s a total bullshit lie- I slept until 8, woke up wondering why my house was so damn quiet (because let’s face it, even when kids are TRYING to be quiet- they usually aren’t, unless they’re doing something they shouldn’t be)- passed PMG’s room, peeked in, saw she wasn’t there and assumed she’d gone downstairs for breakfast, stopped at the washroom to pee, remembered that she was gone- and so went back to bed… to toss and turn and doze and read… and it was WONDERFUL… asleep or not- staying in bed half the day is a LUXURY of the finest kind… and yet, it’s not worth even a fraction of the good morning hugs I’d get if PMG was home… /sigh… I miss my girl… more updates to come.. and maybe I’ll scare/scar all of you and post her piccies!! bwahahahahahaahaha 😛

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