Sooooooooo… um… stuff…

Today is CD 31.

31 is the number of days that a normal cycle was for me, oh around 10 years ago before I got pregnant with my daughter….

What this means NOW- is that it’s very very likely that Auntie Flo will NOT be showing her whore face around here any time soon.

BUT…

this could mean one of two things, and quite frankly both of those things scare the bloody hell outta me. Thing one is a repeat of last month- anovulation. Anovulation=verybadthings=waiting until the 16th of September to see the Dr. Asshole to induce a period and start injections. Thing two is PREGNANCY

*dun dun duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh*

In either case, these things are both scary to me. As much as I want to be pregnant, I KNOW the argument I’m going to have with the idiots at my OB’s office (because the RE is so damn far away- he has the OB take over immediately after a +’ve result). I know that when I call to see the OB they are going to try to schedule me an appt. around week 12-16 without even listening when I tell them I need it sooner than that- THEN I will have to argue that I can’t wait that long… and have to explain YET AGAIN that I have incompetent cervix. Just like I had to explain why I wasn’t going to do “my labs” TWICE… Just like I had to explain that I was there for a POST-partum visit NOT a prenatal visit because (gee, really, I didn’t realize I wasn’t due until August- shit, if someone had told me that, I might have waited and NOT given birth in April- my bad) I’d already delivered. I will have to talk reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeealy slow and use small words to explain that I can’t see my OB at 16 weeks- because the OB at the “big city hospital” wants to sew me shut between 12 and 14 weeks.  And note that I haven’t even mentioned the early u/s that will be requested to rule out multiples/ectopic (both of which are very possible).

And all this tension worrying about arguing with idiots- COMPLETELY moot if I’m not pregnant. And that scares me more. I don’t even know why really- I’m the anti- needle-shy. Needles don’t bother me at all- piece of cake! I used to do my own depo shots, so I’m familiar with injecting myself even. But it’s still SCARY!!!!

Maybe I should stop being a neurotic mental case. And for those of you wondering why the HELL I don’t just check my fertility friend chart- it’s because I’ve been sick with strep throat for the last half of the month. I was SURE I ovulated… but I was sick and sleeping in and my temperatures are EVERYWHERE!!! They went up, down, left, right, backwards, forwards and around again. They started off beautifully consistent and within two days of when I thought I might have O’d- they went crazy. The only thing that has me believing I did in fact ovulate this month is the cervical mucous and position. Yay me!! I gave up after about 4 days of f’d up temps… and being sick… /sigh… tomorrow… tomorrow… I’m not so sure I love ya tomorrow….but whatever….

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