October was our last kick at the cat so to speak. Hubby and I had made a decision that if the October cycle didn’t work out, we were going to take a break from treatment, I was going to concentrate on trying to lose a bit of weight, and I was going back to school.

FAIL

I signed up for the January semester at the local University…. I also got pregnant… oops

January 6th I start classes.

January 12th I get a cerclage.

What the HELL was I thinking??? So much for “take it REALLY easy- no stress, no straining yourself blah blah blah”… um- I’ve spent at least 6 hours of my life on various days talking to different banks about interest rates for student line of credit!! And all of them are in the city 25 minutes away on icy, snow-drifted, really crappy highway.

Gah!!!

Part of me really wants to say “I changed my mind”- I don’t really want to do this after all. I CAN wait to go back to school- maybe. Right now, everything is up in the air and I’m stressed. I’d like to say that’s why I’ve been missing- it’s part of it, but not the whole bit. It’s a lot to take in, and I haven’t quite wrapped my head around it all. For me, 2010 is starting off with a lot of uncertainty. Will I be able to handle pregnancy and school? Will I actually make it to term this time? Will I be able to afford to go back to school in September, having to pay childcare for an infant? Should I transfer and do what courses I can online? Will I even get the stinking money from the bank on time to pay my tuition and books? It’s a lot of questions and I have NO ANSWERS!!!

So, here’s to everything working out! Thank you 2010 for beginning as a clusterfuck with too much going on!

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