and still scared…

But I went shopping for baby stuff anyway… just small things… some onesies, a pack of washcloths, a bath-sling thing… picked out a few things I would still like to get as well- a high chair/booster seat combo, baby monitor and bouncy chair… I almost feel like doing these things, shopping for baby, and starting to re-prepare the nursery is like looking fate in the eye and saying, “see- you don’t scare me you big meany!! do your worst!” and that maybe that will be enough to make everything turn out ok. Like when you tell the bully that they can’t bully you anymore, you take away their power to do anything to hurt you. So yeah… I bought STUFF!! lol

I also bought some really pretty eyeshadow for me that cost a butt-ton more than I would normally spend on makeup but it’s really really pretty and now that I’m starting to feel more human and less tired and actually leaving my house on a regular basis I want to start actually making myself LOOK a bit more human as well. Shopping is my friend! 😛

In other news… in one month, I will celebrate my very last birthday ever. hee- doesn’t that sound dramatic? I am more than a wee bit horrified at the looming number of 3-0… and although it’s a year away, I still never want to get there… So, I have declared my next birthday as my last, and I will stay 29 FOREVER. I foresee only one small hiccup- how do you deal with the people you’ve told, and believed, that you’re only 25?? teehee… yes I’m shameless.

and that is the end!