Still contracting like, every 1/2 hour…. doc still refusing to get this fucking show on the road… I am cranky, in pain, and I swear to God if she doesn’t pull this stitch I am seriously going to take my kitchen scissors and do it myself!!!!

In other news, the reason why today’s update is so late is that hubby took me out on a date. See, we have a kid-free night… a kid-free week in fact. Which I would be exceedingly happy about if the circumstances weren’t utter and total crap. You see, my daughter was recently diagnosed* with bipolar disorder. This seemed to fit with her behavioural/sleep/etc issues, as well as fitting well with the family history (lots and lots of bipolar, including myself- which gives her 50/50 odds of having it). We proceeded to medicate (after exhausting all other options), and that seemed to improve things for a while… unfortunately the improvements didn’t stick. So we tried increasing the dosage with virtually no effect. With the added stress of me being on bed rest, and the baby coming soon, me in and out of L&D for constant contractions, we have finally reached a crisis point with her and were unable to effectively cope or discipline her.  Her teacher is at wits end with her, as are me and “dad” (my husband). Every night was a battle of wills to get homework completed, never mind chores. Rewards don’t work, punishment doesn’t work… everything is a contest- and she is one stubborn little bugger!! Give her a time out, and she will stay there for DAYS rather than apologize and try to improve her behaviour. If she can get out of doing homework by just wearing you down and doing anything BUT until it’s time for bed, she feels as though she has “won” and therefore will fight even harder to avoid homework in the future. If you try to reason with her, it gets you nowhere. So, our very final and completely last resort was to admit her to a special program for kids like her. Kids with emotional issues, psychiatric issues, learning/ academic issues. She will spend a week with staff trained specifically for helping kids who are troubled. She will receive schooling and academic testing, psychiatric testing, she will see a psychologist, they will assess her sleeping patterns, and any and all behavioural issues, as well as what may be causing them. They will explore ways that we can effectively discipline and reward her. They will teach her coping mechanisms and ways to express emotions in a manner that is productive, instead of internalizing them. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I am hopeful that the staff will be able to help her, and help us to become stronger and happier as a family unit. I know that any child who’s been through even HALF of what my daughter has experienced in her short life would be almost assured to have some issues. We have tried so hard to work through them, but we need help. I’m hoping this is it…

So my husband took me out on a dinner date to get my mind off of things… and it was pleasant. We went for our favorite chinese food at the food court in the mall, and wandered around for a bit. We checked out a clothing store for outfits for the wee one; didn’t find anything I really liked, my husband’s wallet had an audible sigh of relief at that!! And bought some new nose rings… little shiny pretty studs… yay! I’m so easily distracted- oooh shiny! And that was that… I was tired, so instead of going to catch a movie we wanted to see, we came home instead and I am here updating all of you on my sad little life… When I am done, I am probably going to go hop in a tub and cry for a bit thinking of my girl… God I hope this works…

*diagnosing children with psychiatric disorders is EXTREMELY difficult. We have been arguing against a diagnosis of ADHD since kindergarten (4 years now), with that being the go-to diagnosis for most children. Usually by teachers who are NOT trained in the diagnosis of psychiatric disorders- and most often wouldn’t recognize a more accurate diagnosis if it bit them in the ass- for example, my daughter is treated the EXACT same as a child with ADHD, even though bipolar, while sharing some symptoms is a COMPLETELY different disorder that must be handled completely different. We are facing the possibility that the original diagnosis of bipolar is/was incorrect, and/or that there may be another diagnosis that fits better. I hope the psychiatrist knows what he’s doing!!

Advertisements