How far along? depends who you ask… MOB still insists “we’re both right”- but she’s MORE right and doesn’t want to remove the stitches because it’s too early- but of course, with low iron I’m sure it’s soooo much safer to wait while I contract like crazy and the f’n things rip out and I hemorrhage…

Total weight gain/loss: 16lbs… woot!!

Maternity clothes? I’m in muumuu mode now… wearing my peasant skirts and dresses that flow away from the body… far far away from the body because I am a goddamn land yacht… people keep asking me how many are in there… it’s also hot as fuck…was 20°C by 9am the last few days… which translates into high 20s- low 30s usually by noon… have I mentioned I’m a pasty-ass bitch and I burn just THINKING about the sun?? Also- hai! I’m pregnant, and pregnancy and hot-ass heat do NOT get along!!!

Blood Sugar? meh… same as it has been… fasting sugars are doing a bit better… apparently I’m doing the OPPOSITE of what most gestational diabetics do in that my fasting sugars are the problem- usually it’s after eating that most people have issues- I’m not surprised… I’m especially not surprised at the attitude that my diabetes is somehow MY fault because I must be eating TERRIBLE because I’m a fat girl… sorry to fuck up your asshole assumptions docs!

Labor signs: pick a sign any sign….  I’ve been contracting pretty much off and on since week 20- but this is getting fucking ridiculous… I’m holding pretty steady between every 30-45 minutes… with the only real “break” when I sleep… and I’m so damn exhausted that I can pretty much sleep through 2 hours worth of contractions… even when they are coming every 15 minutes… which they tend to do for about 4 hours or so every day… usually in the evenings is when they pick up, slowing down again a bit when I go to bed to try and sleep…

Sleep: hah

Best moment this week: I ate cheesecake and I fucking LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT!! and it didn’t totally butt-rape my sugar levels. HAH! take that diabeetus!!

Worst Moment this week: do I have to pick just one??? Every time I get up or move I start praying that my water will break because then the doc will have no choice but to take out the stitch and put me out of my misery… contractions SUCK!! Also- taking my daughter to the child and adolescent program… she’s been away from home before, but that has always been with family and without the realization that I can’t help her the way I wish I could- having to acknowledge that my daughter’s problems are outside my realm of experience and ability to help. It’s a huge kick in the balls…

Movement: less… babe has pretty much run out of room, and I’m pretty sure he/she is tired too… I can’t imagine what it’s like living in an environment that’s simultaneously trying to oust you, but trapping you in at the same time…

Food cravings/aversions: I am craving all the things I cannot/should not have… also wanting fully loaded baked potatoes… I could seriously eat a baked potato like, every day right now… weird!!!

Belly Button in or out? a little bit of both- yesterday it was fully out- loud and proud waving a banner and looking ridiculous… today we’re in again..

What I miss: PMG and being able to move around freely… I want to go for a walk or bike ride dammit!!!

What I am looking forward to: being able to move like a normal human being as opposed to a beached whale.

Weekly Wisdom: i have nothing here… my brain is fried!

Milestones: I cancelled my OB appt for today… i refuse to see that mean old bitch if she’s not going to take me seriously… I see the other doc on Monday… hah! I win beotch!!!

Symptoms: contractions… crying… some more contractions…. bitchy… tired… contractions… cranky… pretty sure I’m leaking fluid too… wish it would GUSH though so I could be sure it’s amniotic and not just grody late-pregnancy discharge…