Someone shoves a cotton swab up your ass…

Oh yeah life is full of fun around here!!  We have come to a compromise with the doc. I’m now ordered to do twice weekly non-stress tests and if anything is wonky- they will pull the stitch. She is also going to be checking said stitching in exactly one week and if things aren’t looking 100%- the stitch will be pulled. Alternate doc was very nice and sympathetic and almost made me cry. She was very understanding of how I’m not just being a whiny, sucky, end-of-pregnancy beotch. She can’t imagine how I must feel, most women have a hard time just coping with a cerclage alone, never mind all the other crap… like weekly hemoglobin checks (yeah- my veins don’t suck enough, let’s stab me MORE!!!) and 8 pokes a day for diabetes and and and… and she doesn’t even KNOW about the stress of my daughter…

Who is doing perfectly fine btw. As I pretty much expected, the psychologist is running with ADHD (despite her depressive symptoms and insomnia), and started her on Concert@. The lowest dose of which didn’t even touch her. They’ve upped her dose today in the hopes of seeing some improvement. I don’t know what their plan is if it still doesn’t work. Based on her weight- they can’t increase the dosage further. Should be interesting. We have a family meeting tomorrow morning to discuss the plan(s) for her and hopefully she will be discharged and sent home. I can hardly wait. As hard as it is to deal with behavioural issues and emotional instability and even more so when I myself am hormonal and ill-equipped emotionally right now, I miss my girl and want her home.

So for now… I’m back to full bed rest. Was told today “do nothing”… just laze around and stay cool… NST tomorrow and Friday, next appt. scheduled for Monday. Which is also the day that mum and dad get back!! They will probably hang out with B.I.L and the clown car and the newest spawn for a few days before coming out here. I can’t wait to see them!! So yeah… I guess I’ma go have a nap… I’m exhausted and drained… why can’t this just be easy??

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