Well, it’s been an interesting couple of days, and I have taken far longer than I should have to get this written, however, I have VERY tender ladybits atm and my computer chair, while very very comfortable under normal circumstances is decidedly NOT so comfortable with so many damn stitches in my ass. Which will serve as warning  for those of you with weak stomachs or whom have issues with TMI- you might want to skip this post. 😛

I guess I’ll start from the very beginning… Which was at 7:55am Saturday July 17. I FINALLY got the call to come in and get the induction started. Let me tell you, you’ll never see a 9months pregnant woman move faster in your life. I was in such a hurry to get my ass to the hospital (it’s a 25 minute drive) that I didn’t bother to shower or anything. I did NOT want to drive all the way there just to get sent home again. I got to the hospital, was placed in a room on the fetal assessment end of the ward and hooked up to the monitors. Baby was fine, I was fine… and very anxious to get this show on the road. I was given the “low down”… doc would break my waters and they would start me on syntocin (just another synthetic oxytocin). Doc came in, did a quick U/S to check on babe for positioning and fluid levels. Took TWO damn hooks to break my water- apparently this time my amniotic sac was making an attempt at being impregnable! I was monitored for a bit to see if contractions would pick up on their own. Which they did, but did not show up on the monitor- not surprised, I’ve been here before… I contract, the monitor doesn’t register, I get sent home- running theme for the past 5 weeks at this point!

I took a couple runs around the ward while they prepared my actual labour suite and mixed up my hormone cocktail. At this point I’ve had a very special IV put in called a twin cath- holy hell that needle was BIG!! Because of the gestational diabetes though, they wanted to be able to give me insulin through the IV and still be able to keep the syntocin hooked up. I was not allowed to eat or drink anything because the doc was concerned I may still need a C-section… heh heh heh…

I was contracting pretty heavily by the time I got to the room, about every 5-10 minutes, but lo and behold- STILL NOT SHOWING ON THE MONITOR!! So, off we go to the races with the Synto… the hormone juice of the devil. OMFG ow!!!!!! The synto took some time (maybe 1/2 an hour) but when it kicked in, holy hell!! Unreal!! I managed to breath through most of the contractions fairly well, until about the third time of cranking things up a notch. Then it was all I could do to remember to breathe at all. And guess what??? STILL NO F’N CONTRACTIONS SHOWING UP ON THE MONITOR!!!!! Although I was hoping for a completely drug free birth, I DID cave in at this point and request something for the pain. The nurse (who was absolutely WONDERFUL!!) did a cervix check, and because I was still only 4cm dilated opted to give me morphine, as opposed to giving me fentanyl, because she felt I’d still be in labour a while and she wanted to save the “big guns” for later. She was sure that I’d still be awhile. I sent hubby for lunch figuring with the morphine I could rest between contractions, and I wanted him to keep his strength up. I should mention here, that he was WONDERFUL- he rubbed my back with each contraction, sometimes he didn’t even get a chance to sit down in between them because they were coming so fast- He was so supportive, and took to me bossing him around like a champ!! After this experience, if I didn’t already think he was the greatest man ever, I most certainly would now! He got me cool cloths for my face and when I told him to stop touching me because I was hot, he still stayed close and held my hand and talked me through everything. Yep, best. husband. EVER!!

So, I was getting morphine around 1-ish. Hubby’s mom and dad had stopped by with my girl around this time too. Mom was willing to stay while hubby went to grab some grub, but I told everyone I preferred to be alone and try to rest with my drugs! lol Which I did. Hubby came back after his grub, I dozed-ish between contractions. All this time- none are showing up on the monitor. Baby is doing awesome and I can definitely feel things progressing.

Around 4 I got the gas! Nitrous is a beautiful thing… The jokes started coming then. Apparently after my first “hit” of the gas I started smiling, and even laughing a bit. A lot past this point is actually kinda fuzzy. I spent an hour feeling wooo… and then started feeling the urge to push. Which is when they took my lovely gas away and the REAL business started. The urge was strong with this one, and I was pushing quite effectively. Well enough that after only a very short time the nurse declared I was “round the bend” and it was time to call the doctor. Doctor didn’t believe her, it’s a good thing she came running anyway! I was good to go! Unfortunately, I had started to tear pretty badly (my husband will have nightmares for a while about the tearing sound apparently- I’m glad I don’t remember!!) so the doc had me halt the pushing in order to freeze me and perform an episiotomy. The hardest part being the NOT pushing bit!! Once she was done, I was off to the races again, and managed to get my girl MOST of the way out pretty quickly. Being a big girl, her shoulders did not want to come out my pelvis- see, I’m chubby, but actually have quite a small frame (and only 5’2″) so 9+lb baby just don’t fit out that way so well. I had a baby fully crowned, with doc pulling for all she was worth, and a nurse up more or less on top of me trying to push her out from the top of my stomach. I think the poor nurse was more traumatized than I was- I barely remember her saying again and again “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry!” They obviously managed to get my girl out, but not without causing some minor damage. My abs felt like hell the next day let me tell you! But worse than that, my baby girl was beat to hell!!

I’m glad at this point that I was pretty much passed out from pain and exhaustion because otherwise I would have been in panic city. Baby girl didn’t cry right away- hubby says she was limp and grey and he wanted to die at that moment. They took her immediately over to the “inspection table” and rubbed her down- the pediatrician on-call was called and came down right away. She was fine- with stimulation she was rosy pink and screaming her head off!! She does have some nerve damage/bruising in her one shoulder, which should clear up by two months old. She’ll be followed up with my oldest daughter’s pediatrician who’ll take care of any concerns.

As of now, we are home, and happy. I could not be any more  blissful to have my baby girl- she is definitely spoiled with love, I can barely put her down!! She is sleepy and content most of the time- except when she’s naked- and just perfectly beautiful. I am truly blessed.

And for now, I will leave you with that… there is still a lot more to be said… but it can wait… my looooong chubby-cheeked girl needs to be fed!!

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