For those of you just tuning in, I was a dumbass in my youth and shacked up, so to speak, with a man. We were together nearly 4 years, and in that time I managed to somehow (despite using birth control) get myself knocked up (no, the irony of becoming infertile in later years is NOT lost on me). I refused to have an abortion despite his request to do so. Turns out the man who was as old THEN as I am now, wasn’t ready to have children. But NOR was he man enough to just fuck off and leave me to my devices. Ohhhh no… he had to stick around and fuck up my life further while he had his cake and ate it too. Long story short, I put up with his bullshit and abuse for about 11 months after having PMG and decided that I didn’t want HER to grow up thinking his behaviour was acceptable. So I left. I have maintained a great relationship with his parents, and I am more than decent to him. I put up with his sporadic visitations. I endure the abandonment issues that crush PMG, I spend countless hours reassuring her that her father (and I use that term loosely- quite frankly, he’s not much more than an occasionally involved sperm donor) really does love her, and it’s not HER fault he’s never around. I tolerate his lack of support payments, I try not to let it bother me that no matter WHAT my husband and I do for her, we are never good enough because that fucking lowlife piece of shit is her goddamn hero! He takes her to do fun stuff! (forget that I am the one who paid for her flight to see him last summer, and that the REASON we did not go on vacation as a family is because we couldn’t AFFORD to after paying for said flight!!!)

So…. anyhizzle… moving on….

The rage is coming now because recently he has moved back into this province. He’s now living a mere 2 1/2 hours away. And really, for PMG this is wonderful and I am extremely hopeful that now that she is older and more independent, that her and him can start having a more involved relationship. There’s just one small problem. He moved back here to be with some WOMAN… Some dizzy fucking twit that wasn’t sure if she’d be able to TOLERATE his child.

Um- hello, excuse me for being maybe a little unwise here but WHAT THE FUCKING HELL??? Who the FUCK dates a man with a CHILD when they don’t even LIKE fucking kids????!!!! What kind of dickhole pathetic excuse for a shithead parent moves closer to their child, NOT to be closer to that child, but to be with a woman who may or may not LET you bring said child to YOUR HOME!!!????

$#%#$%&$^*&$#%@!$#!#@$!@#$@#^%$&%$*&$@#$%!@#$!@#$!#%@$&

There truly aren’t even words for how pissed off I am right now. And to make matters worse, is that he never even INFORMED me of this. He originally told me that he was taking PMG for a week. Then mysteriously, despite the fact that he’s not yet found a goddamn job, he was unable to keep her beyond tomorrow. Then he calls me TODAY and tries to finagle my HUSBAND into allowing PMG to stay until Saturday (without asking me… he knew I’d be pissed at his reasoning for not keeping her for longer in the first place) because his girlfriend has decided that she likes PMG and would love to have her stay….

Awesome sauce…

Have I mentioned this is girlfriend number eleventy-billion??? Have I mentioned that NOT ONE has made it past a couple of months in a relationship with my douche-tanker ex??? Have I mentioned that EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. TIME. he introduces one of his girlfriends to PMG she gets excited thinking she will finally have a step-mom too!?? It’s a lot to be said for my husband that she WANTS more step-parents because of how awesome he is, unfortunately, she doesn’t understand that new girlfriend doesn’t always = new mommy. And it breaks her goddamn heart every time. Even girlfriends she hasn’t even met!!! I can’t even imagine how much it is going to suck if when if this relationship doesn’t work out. She’ll have spent a week with this woman, getting attached… it’s not HIM that has to deal with the fallout, it’s her… and me… one day, she will look back and laugh- she will be able to make fun of him, joking about all his “girlfriends”… and I will be sick to my stomach thinking of all the times she had her heart broken because he was too fucking ignorant and insensitive to take her feelings into account. I understand his being excited for a new relationship, I understand that he wants to share, to show his new plaything off… I just wish he’d get some guy friends to show off to instead… or smarten the hell up and realize that he hasn’t had a serious relationship in 8 FUCKING YEARS and unless he’s absolutely bloody CERTAIN that this one is going to work out, to not get PMG’s hopes up with dreams of happy little family part deux. God I hope this one works out… as selfish as it sounds… I really can’t go through this again…

What a stupid dick.

Advertisements