Granted, I have PCOS, which responded epically well to meds, so most days I don’t even feel like a real infertile. Most days which have now increased into EVERY single day…
I feel like an imposter.
I also feel like I want to punch the next damn person who tells me any of the following: “see, you just needed to relax is all!!”; “it must be because you lost all that weight!”; “it must be meant to be!!” etc etc etc…
Fuck me sideways I’m bloody pregnant!!!
And despite knowing precisely how this happened, I can’t help but wonder- HOW THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN??? and why now? Don’t get me wrong, I am blissfully ecstatic to be in my *ahem* condition, but truly, it is not the most convenient of times. Our house is under some pretty heavy renovations- our bathroom is more-or-less in a state of complete destruction- we have working (ish) fixtures, but parts of floors and walls are missing!! Our bathtub feels like it may fall through the floor at any minute, and our toilet does not have a lid… just the ring!! The sink leaks like it thinks it’s the almighty and our bathroom the world with Gremlin’s bath toys as the ark and animals! I’ve only just finished my probationary period at my job, which I love and would sincerely die a little inside to lose. I know they can’t terminate me for being pregnant, but with the risk factors involved in carrying to term… at least I work for a doctor right? Best place for a high risk pregnancy to be!! My husband has only finished one term of his two-year education- who knows how his job searching will go when he’s finished, will we even be able to afford a third child!!??
So mostly, I’m shitting myself… except as those of you long-term readers may remember- my body thinks shitting while pregnant is HIGHLY overrated.
And once upon a time I said this WASN’T going to turn into a pregnancy blog… my bad. Have I mentioned I’ve been busy? with work, and demolishing my house???
Look pretty girls!!!
See how I distracted you there??? I’m an evil genius!!