Being a fat girl is no fun…. being a fat girl who’s lost 35-40 ish lbs after being banded in March is even LESS fun- because even though I shrunk, I did not shrink anywhere near enough and now I am pregnant AND still fat, and therefore not losing anymore weight and I am so bloated my pants fit like I never lost any weight at all, and none of them fit… So, it’s official- I am not even in the second trimester and my fat ass is already wearing maternity pants… or at least it will be after I hem them because I am not only fat- I am short… I am the epitome of “as wide as she is tall”… FML!!!

In other news, this eve is OB visit #2 where I will hopefully have a date for cerclage placement, and also find out which type of cerclage they are going to do. I am really gunning for an abdominal, as much as it horrifies me to have a C-section, I like my odds with the abdominal much better! I like even more that my odds of bedrest with the abdominal are also much lower- I really really love my job and would just die a little inside if I had to leave it and spend another 5-ish months on the couch again… even though I have much comfier couches that are suited perfectly for bedrest this time! I must admit though, I am slightly nervous for this visit. I always get so tense before seeing the OB now, the epic fails that abounded in my last pregnancy have made me little gun-shy this time around. I know I’m in better hands this time around, but I still get nervous that I’m going to end up with a torn-up cervix (again) and getting treated like a hypersensitive hypochondriac for going in to the hosp almost every. single. bloody. night because my contractions are coming every 5 mins (again)- but then slow down to every 20 mins once I’m on the monitor… (and did I mention that time when my labour was induced and I gave birth to a baby -vaginally- about 8 hours later without a single f’n contraction showing up on the damn monitor??). whooo boy… so lots of things going on in my head. Here’s hoping I get some answers tonight and can feel reassured that I’m being PROPERLY taken care of for this pregnancy… at least until I have to go back in again!!

Will update AFTER the visit to let y’all know how it went!

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