baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahaahahahaahahahhahahaha…. yeah. that was a bad joke…
I’m pretty certain most, if not all, of my loyal readers are already aware that Little Man is here! This is the story, a few days late of how shiz went down.
As you already know if you’ve been keeping up with my drivel, I’ve been experiencing “prodromal” labour for a couple of weeks now. Which sucked. The contractions seemed to be increasing in severity, but never getting any regularity whatsoever. I’d contract every 5 or so minutes for an hour, just to have them slow down to about every 20 mins for an hour then pick up again… In any case, I was told by the OB covering for Dr. Awesome that if I started bleeding or leaking fluid to get my ass to the hospital. None of that ever had a chance to happen.
Friday night was pretty miserable, I barely slept, and just felt a general state of total fatigue and crap- contracting constantly, again without any rhyme or reason. I tried taking Ty.lenol to calm things down with minimal success. Saturday was worse…. much much worse. I knew the contractions I was having were labour contractions, but because they never came closer together or had any regularity whatsoever, I was extremely reluctant to go get checked out. (believe me, it’s really NOT fun to drive 1/2 an hour to the hospital to get told to “suck it up princess- it’s just false labour; faking it will not get you any sympathy here” <— yes, I WAS actually told this during my last pregnancy during the five weeks of prodromal hell I experienced- it was one of many many horrible awful very bad no good things spouted to me during that time). So anyway, by 11pm Saturday night, I was in the tub writhing in pain that was enough to bring me to tears, a very epic accomplishment considering I live in constant pain from the fibro, and so have a very very high pain tolerance. My husband, knowing this, became pretty concerned, and called L&D, who, obviously, told him to make me come in… so I argued with him for about half an hour and told him I’d just take more Ty.lenol and try to sleep it off… hahahahaahahaha
Needless to say, my husband won the argument… I went in to L&D to discover their equipment actually works, and although irregular my contractions were most definitely measuring in the level of “painful”. I was checked for dilation and given a very brief external U/S to ensure the stitch had not already ruptured. Lo and behold, my asshole cervix was opening- I was 1-2cm, with a guessed length of about 1/2-1cm only. GO ME!! There was some discussion among the OB on call and perinatologist who I love- she was the perinatologist whom I met with during my previous hospital stay- and myself on the best course of action. I was given two choices; wait it out and hope upon hope that the labour stopped, risking the stitch rupturing, hemorrhage, big mess and possible hysterectomy OR deliver this “term” baby NOW. Given the U/S dating, we all assumed I was closer to 37 weeks than 36, and because I’d been given steroids already to help with lung development, everyone agreed that was our safest course. Hubs left the hospital to take our surprisingly un-exhausted Gremlin home to bed, and I was prepped for surgery; Getting an IV started was a bitch, I got poked about 5 or so times for that, and twice to get bloodwork drawn. Then was taken down to the OR to try and get a spinal started. It actually worked out in my favor that we weren’t able to get it started, because the OB got called away to do a delivery!! By the time he go back, the spinal would have worn off- so right out to sleep I went.
The surgery went well, and at 4:07 am July 29th, 2012 my wee man was born!! A whopping 8lbs 13oz and 20 inches long! (my little short-ass!)
Unfortunately, the tale doesn’t quite end there… I awoke in a room and was asked if I would like to see my boy. It was explained that he was slightly more premature than was suspected- his estimated gestational age only 36 weeks, and that due to that, and the fact that I had GD (which can cause delay in lung development, even when controlled well), he was having a bit of trouble breathing and would need to be in the NICU. They wheeled him in to see me, CPAP mask in place, and removed his little cap to show me his abundance of dark, slightly wavy hair- he looks just like his daddy!!! I quickly dozed back off, I’d been given a goodly dose of morphine after surgery (I also had my tubes tied), but I dreamed of my sweet, dark-haired little love.
It’s now four days later and I’m your typical, exhausted, post-partum mom. Recovery from the surgery has been very hard, and complicated by the high level of activity I’ve had to maintain due to trips to the NICU, both in hospital (long friggin walk from my ward to there), and now being home, with an active toddler making daily trips to the hospital (more long friggin walks from the parkade to the NICU); almost complete lack of ability to have any sort of real “rest” between 2-3 hour wakings to pump so that wee man can get every single drop of breast milk available to him, and the stress of having a babe in NICU. For the most part, I can’t say a single bad thing about the staff at the hospital here- they have done so much and been so kind, and helpful- the complete opposite of the experience I had with Gremlin, but it’s still stressful all the same- and made harder by the fact that I do have my little Gremlin and have to divide my time between a toddler who can’t understand why mama has to be gone so much time, and a little man in the hospital who I want to be with so desperately it’s almost physically painful.
The positive side of it all is this- my sweet boy-child is here, and he is doing very well. He spent a day and a bit on CPAP, moving up to nasal cannula, and has been doing trials on room air since Wednesday. He was able to start taking the breast Wednesday night, and is a voracious little piggy! He’s definitely his father’s boy- apparently hubs’ mom used to cry when she had to feed him because he was such an insatiable little hog!! He’s a lot more alert every day, he wakes when he hears my voice every time I come to visit now and starts wiggling like mad to be picked up. He loves his paci like it’s a part of him, and is the most amazing little snuggler- when doing kangaroo care he literally tries to wrap his wee little arms around you, or grabs your finger like a lifeline- he just never wants to be let go. He is the most amazing little miracle and I love him more than life itself. I can’t wait to bring him home and have our family all together again under the same roof.
How far along? 27.5 weeks
Bedrest so far: hah- rest!!! that’s a big friggin not happening. I put my feet up a lot lately. It seems I have about one useful hour a day where I can accomplish something, the rest of the time I just want to sleep.
Total weight gain/loss: I haven’t weighed myself since the OB…
G.D. : FAIL… not surprised!! I was insulin dependent last time- the odds of NOT having diabeetus this time around were pretty much nil. Picked up a super nerd-tastic glucometer though! 😀
Cervical Length?: see the doc next week, I’m pretty sure he’s making me have another u/s that day to check on the ol ‘vix….
Labor signs: feels like babe’s head is in my cooter… other than that, just braxton hicks
Medications?: prenatals, iron supplement, soon to be insulin
Sleep: there can never be enough. I could seriously nap for most of the day and still want to go to bed by 8pm…
Best moment this week: do I have to pick just one?? Our cat had kittens on mother’s day- the babies’ eyes have just opened and they are soooo snuggly!!! We also got the painting done in the nursery- just need to do another quick coat since the damn blue stripes that had been painted by the previous owners were just so damn dark that two coats of primer and one coat of paint STILL didn’t completely cover them!! I picked up the decals for the walls- it’s all going to look just so gorgeous when it’s done!
Worst Moment this week: my oldest has once again returned to fuckwad’s fantasyland of fun in her brain… my ex- who hasn’t paid child support in a year and a half- has filled her head with how wonderful life is now that he once again has a girlfriend. So ONCE AGAIN I am dealing with a kid with oppositional defiant disorder who thinks that she can just go live with daddy since things “suck” at home. She is actually to the point of being outwardly abusive towards me and her little sister- I’m sincerely tempted to fly her ass back to manitoba to her father and tell him- he fucked her up, HE can spend the next 7 years fixing her. At this point, if the violence towards her younger sibling doesn’t stop- it’s going to be that, or we place her in a group home for kids with her kinds of issues. Full of the suck!
Movement: I think this kid has like, 15 limbs…
Food cravings/aversions: spicy foods and steak still. The occasional sweet craving too.
Belly Button in or out?: what belly button?? lol.. it’s flattening more and more and looks really really weird- all discolored and stuff from the puncture wound.
Gender: octopus with a penis
What I miss: the good ol’ days when my ex was in a mental inpatient program and my oldest child would fucking BEHAVE because she didn’t constantly have her father encouraging her disrespect towards me and my husband or feeding into her delusional fantasies of how *AWESOME* life is when you are an ambitionless fucking deadbeat piece of shit.
What I am looking forward to: being done with this pregnancy… I’m content to wait- I want to hit at LEAST 37 weeks… but yeah, I’m done!
Weekly Wisdom: murder is still illegal- even if you’re almost 100% certain you could claim temporary insanity
Symptoms: BH’s; lower back pain; pressure in teh v@gina; return of the all-day-neverending epic fucking nausea
So I haven’t been getting much time to blog- between work, trying to shop for a damn van, and all the other miscellaneous crap that is necessary for me to be doing in my life (buying/making/cleaning up meals, laundry, etc) I have been fail in keeping updates on my pregnancy and life in general. So, I am going to once again, steal from my bedrest bestie, Tiffany, and use the “weekly check-in” thingy, she does a Maternity Monday, my safest bet for actually attempting a weekly post is the weekend… so, without further ado (aka mindnumbing babble ala moi):
How far along? 10 weeks
Bedrest so far: not gonna be any! I hope!!
Total weight gain/loss: 2lbs- mostly water and poo… feeling very bloated
Maternity clothes?: I am rocking the maternity pants in the first trimester! go me!! I wear sweats and pajamas and yoga pants at home though. I can wear pretty much any type of top still, but I needed to purchase new bras today- in a flippin I cup!!! goddammit!!!
Stretch marks? I changed this question last time, and I’m going to change it this time too- since there isn’t an inch of my belly that isn’t covered in stretch marks- I have vertical ones from PMG and horizontal ones from Emilie- my belly is plaid people!!! that’s just plain effed up!!! So, instead I will comment on the GD- since I’m pretty sure I already failed my first gestational diabetes test last night… boourns!
G.D. : fail… been avoiding sugar like the plague, and I’m not on bedrest this time, so I’m hoping it’s at least more manageable this time and I don’t end up needing insulin! Pretty sure I failed the first glucose test though last night, I felt like total balls during and after I did the test. On another note, that orange crap still tastes like ass!!! ugh- note to medical testing supply companies- can’t you make that godawful shit in different flavors??
Cervical Length?: 2.9cm- countdown to TAC – 15 days!!
Labor signs: not a one! Praise be!
Medications?: Prenatals, and bucketfuls of Diclectin- also purchased some “sea bands” that are supposed to help with nausea, so far, other than the fact that they get really uncomfortable after a while, they seem to be helping!!
Sleep: I keep saying I wish that I could sleep through the entire first trimester, but with work, other kids, husband, and house- oh and did I mention vehicle shopping (which sucks in the most incredibly mind fucking way) I’ve pretty much given up on ever feeling rested again until after I’m dead. Also- sleep regression and waking up at night can suck my stinky poohole!
Best moment this week: Telling off the other girl at work. She whined because she is supposed to work her second job on the day my nuchal translucency is booked, I very politely told her that it wasn’t my problem, the life of myself and my baby means more to me than her job. suck it bitch! ( in saying, I probably need to do a few posts describing the epicness of my fellow employee… )
Worst Moment this week: Learning that my blood pressure is staying high- it’s still within normal range, but higher than my normal- and that scares me! I don’t want to have a TAC to avoid bedrest, just to end up on bedrest because the stress of dealing with my coworker is making my BP skyrocket.
Movement: Just a whole lot of stretching.
Food cravings/aversions: No cravings so far- just a whole lot of aversions. I only just this week started being able to eat poultry again, and I can only eat a few bites at a time very very slowly to ensure my stomach doesn’t rebel and bring the whole lot up. Fun Fact: when you regurgitate milk- no matter how you do it, or how hard you try, it manages to come out your nose, every. bloody. time!!
Belly Button in or out?: in
Gender: if past history is any indication, this one is packing boy parts.
What I miss: Food, not feeling on the verge of barf constantly, feeling awake once in a while!!
What I am looking forward to: Nuchal next Friday!!
Weekly Wisdom: I CAN go to work on 4 hours sleep and not drool on myself!! woo!!!
Milestones: GDS #1
Symptoms: Nausea, scent aversions, epic fatigue, constipation.
That’s all for now folks!! Tata!!
**please note- I understand fully how hard it must be to be a NICU nurse. I understand that NICU nurses (like all other nurses) have a job to do. I understand that dealing with hysterical hormonal women whose babies aren’t well would be difficult and draining. HOWEVER- if you don’t fucking like what you do and you can’t do it with compassion- FIND A NEW GODDAMN JOB!!!**
I may very well get lambasted for this post, but I make no apologies for what I’m about to say. My baby’s stay in the NICU sucked eggs!!! HARD!!
For those of you unaware, yes, my beautiful, perfect little angel of a girl spent the first days of her life in the neonatal intensive care unit. Or, as I have termed it, the SUCK-U. Because let me tell you, the NICU here is chock-full of THE SUCK!
Because I suffered from gestational diabetes, even though my sugars were under control, my baby grew BIG. Being big, and being from a momma with GD can cause a baby’s sugar levels to drop after birth. This is bad!!!
I was given roughly an hour to spend with my darling girl, skin to skin, and attempting a first feeding at the breast before she was subjected to her first poke. Because of my GD, and because she was so large, she was at risk of having wonky sugar levels. I was crestfallen to learn her sugars were indeed low, and this meant that she would be taken away to the NICU to have an IV inserted, and possibly be supplemented with formula. Because I was hoping to breastfeed, this supplementation would be done by gavage feeding (Gavage is when they stick a tube directly into baby’s stomach down their throat and use gravity to drain the formula from a syringe), as opposed to a bottle, to help avoid nipple confusion (and also turned out to be bloody useless as they then gave her a pacifier…. stupid asshats). My husband opted to stay with me, (I was not allowed up yet- they accidentally drained a bag of IV fluid with Syntocin into me after delivery and so they had to make me wait to get up just in case it caused me to bleed like a stuck pig) as he knew he would not tolerate watching what they were about to do to our baby. When the IV was placed, we then went to the NICU to speak with the pediatrician about what the course of action would be. We were informed that she would likely be on the IV for about 24 hours until she was weaned off, and her sugars were hopefully stabilized. We also were informed about her shoulder, that there was some damage/stretching to the muscles and nerves which would likely be completely healed and she would regain full mobility in her arm by 2 months old, but they would be performing an X-ray just to be sure that her clavicle wasn’t broken. We did luck out on that front at least- her clavicle is not broken, and she seems to be slowly regaining mobility in her arm, as well as no longer screaming in excruciating pain every time it is moved/bumped/etcetcetc….
Beyond this point- I was given NO instruction. I was treated like I was in the way. I was denied access to my daughter. I was not allowed to hold her except for short periods of time. She was nearly 24 hours old before I was even given the opportunity to attempt to nurse or even change a diaper. And I had to ASK- repeatedly. All I was able to do was stand over her (I was offered a chair ONCE) and stroke her cheek. She was not in an isolette, she was not in danger or too fragile to be held. It was just inconvenient. And then the real kicker: Despite KNOWING that I was attempting to breastfeed DESPITE having had a reduction (which can make breastfeeding impossible for some moms, and extremely difficult for others) and ALSO having PCOS (which commonly causes supply issues), that I KNEW I would most likely have to supplement with formula (and so THEY knew too). When they KNEW I was having difficulties with my daughter latching on, as well as facing all of the above- they informed me AFTER I was discharged that they would be keeping my daughter for another 48 hours because she was not feeding effectively.
I lost my shit.
Admittedly, maybe I should have hounded the nurses more. Maybe I should have asked for the COMPLETE policy on release of infants from the SUCK-U. Or maybe, just maybe, the stunned cunts in charge of my baby’s care should have actually done something drastic like READ MY FUCKING CHART and take the time to actually inform me of the full situation. That because of my EXPECTED difficulties with nursing, my baby would not be able to go home. Even though I was told she WOULD go home with me as long as her sugars were fine. Which they were.
And then the fight began. I was outraged, and I cried buckets. I refused to leave my baby. I took her out of the NICU back to my room, which I had been politely told to vacate at least twice at this point. I spoke to my mother in law, I asked her advice on what to do, if I would be out of line for asking to speak to the pediatrician and getting my baby out of there. I wanted to know if it was wrong to capitulate on the breastfeeding and just formula feed if it meant my baby could go home sooner (which it would- more on that later). At this point I had already given her a bottle just to get started on the 48-hour feeding policy. She took the bottle like a champ! No problems whatsoever. I took my things and went back to the SUCK-U. I asked to speak to the pediatrician. When the nurse asked me why, I told her. I told her I refused to leave my baby without good reason. I told her that if I had been informed of the policy, I would never have even attempted to breastfeed, and would have given formula straight off- that my baby had NO problems feeding whatsoever, with the exclusion of being breastfed, and that was due to MY issues of flat nipples and low supply, and NOT because my baby could not feed effectively. I stated that there were obviously extenuating circumstances for us, and also that my own medical background should hold some sway- I was not some twit who can’t figure out if her baby is starving!!!
Her exact words: “I was not here this weekend, so it’s not MY fault no one told you- so don’t get bitchy with me!”
I’m not. even. joking.
I coldly told her I didn’t care whether it was her or someone else- it was THEIR job to inform me of the situation with my child, and no one did- and I WOULD be speaking with the pediatrician. She legally, could not refuse me. And so, she called the ped. I spoke with him. He agreed with me (and most likely did NOT make any friends on that ward doing so). His only concern was the slight jaundice my daughter was experiencing, and so he ordered a billirubin test, which if she failed would mean she would indeed have to stay in that hellhole to be placed under phototherapy. We were very very fortunate that she passed that test- our girl was coming home!!
I can honestly say, that for a lot of parents, I’m sure that NICU is their saviour. I can well imagine the relief most parents feel knowing that there is someone taking care of their little one who is ill. However, for me, it was HELL. I have cried myself to sleep every night thinking of my daughter’s first two days. Two days where virtually the only time she was held was when someone was either stabbing her to test her blood sugar, or to shove a tube down her throat. Two days away from the mother and father who tried for sooooo long to have her, and spent so much energy trying to keep her safe, just to abandon her to soulless harpies who had a job to do… and they did it well… But they need to stop and consider their other patients too- the parents. Having a child who is in the NICU is goddamn devastating. No matter the reason they are there, it is stressful, and scary, and being made to feel like an intruder because you want to spend five minutes with your OWN child is one of the most horrible feelings I can think of. It is helplessness and hopelessness and guilt. I feel guilt that I was not there for my daughter the way I should have been. I feel guilt that maybe I should have told the nurses to shove it in their ass when they wouldn’t let me hold her (for no reason*, it was just inconvenient to have me there- it’s hard to gossip and be a lazy twat with someone sitting there who might report you). I feel terrible of what she had to go through, without comfort from me. I mourn the loss of bonding-time, time that should have been happy, and spent getting to know my new little person I waited so long for. Every puncture in her little foot is a puncture in my heart. Every bruise from attempts at starting an IV is a bruise I will feel for the rest of my life.
I’m glad it’s over…. and will be eternally grateful to the pediatrician who saw reason, and was kind, and caring. And didn’t just treat me like some asshole getting in the way.
*the “reason” I was given for not being allowed to pick up and hold my daughter was that she was sleeping and I might disturb her… But I also wasn’t allowed to comfort her after they woke her up to stab her either- so their “reason” is total bullshit!
**I also feel I should note that there were other reasons my experience was not the greatest. I was also told by the “bitchy” nurse that it was my CHOICE to breastfeed and it’s not their “policy” to just offer formula. I was informed IMMEDIATELY after telling them the first night about my reduction that if baby wasn’t nursing effectively right away, she would be supplemented- they forgot. I was subjected to a discussion from one nurse who snatched my daughter away from me, who then proceeded to ask me my daughter’s name (because despite having cared for her all goddamn day, didn’t farking KNOW her name!!!) while holding my baby (why I couldn’t have continued holding her during this I don’t know)- and then after hearing the answer walked away without another word to me trying to decide if my daughter actually suited the name I gave her or not, and she “wasn’t so sure”… Because, you know I might just change my mind on what I named her based on the opinion of some stupid cunt who couldn’t even be bothered to KNOW her name for the previous 8 hours!!! This was typical of my experience- these are just small examples. There was ONE nurse who offered me a chair, and one who actually talked to me like I wasn’t a complete moron. Most of them treated me like I was akin to an axe murderer and it was MY fault my daughter was there in the first place for being a fat pig with diabetes. Because of COURSE it was MY fault I got gestational diabetes in the first place…
So yeah… it’s nice to be 2 weeks further along!! I feel like I would imagine that guy on alien felt just before the alien busted out of his guts- I swear it feels as if Peanut/Skeletor/Little Beast is trying to BURROW his way out through my belly… The really crazy thing is that it’s gotten WORSE since the rugrat moved head-down!! Weird…
On the agenda today: NST, fabric store, undercarriage. I’ve got my stuff and baby’s stuff all packed up for the hospital and in the car just in case- didn’t manage to get curtains up this weekend- they’re on the rod, just need hubby to screw in the rod holders!!! He’s a man on a mission today- I guess the thought that this is REALLY happening- and soon- has lit a fire up under his ass! He’s the one nesting now!! So far this morning, he’s loaded the bags in the car, and started a load of laundry and organized the rest that needs doing. He’s taken out all the garbage (today is garbage day) even though the bag wasn’t full!! Heehee- it’s so cute!! 😛
Other than that we’re pretty much just in “hurry up and wait” mode. The alternate OB I saw last week is pretty certain that my regular OB would be inducing me soon- AKA removing stitches- due to the fact that a)I’m further along and b) we are looking at the possibility of a very large bambino… Not surprising considering that my fasting sugar is still being an asshole- and I’ve had to add some extra sugar to my morning meal in the form of an iron supplement. Also babies in my husband’s family tend to be on the large side. My husband AND his two siblings were all around the 8 lb mark. My nieces so far have all pushed the 8lb marker too… actually, my first niece was almost 9 lbs!! And her mother is TINY!!! And my husband’s brother is smaller than him! My daughter was a beautiful 7.5lbs- but looong… for me anyhow…my torso is only 25 inches from my chin to my cooch- now you tell me where the hell a 21 3/4 inch long baby is supposed to fit??!!! They told me my daughter was going to be HUGE- she wasn’t. So meh…
Just waiting… and waiting… and waiting some more… I’ll update again later after the NST! Toodles!!
How far along? 32 + 4
Total weight gain/loss: I lost 3 lbs last week- so I’m at a net gain of 15 lbs… go me!
Maternity clothes?: I have like, one pair of maternity pants that still fit comfortably, and a pair of leggings that aren’t maternity but rock my world… I count myself lucky that I almost never have to leave my house at this point because finding things to fit my gargantuan ass is getting really really difficult!!!
Blood Sugar? Good- except for the fasting… it’s chewing my ass… and getting me down a bit- do you have ANY idea how hard it is to control a blood sugar level that you REALLY have no control of??? I’ve tried eating a snack later at night, taking my insulin later in the eve, getting up earlier, increasing my evening insulin dose.. pretty much everything possible to lower that fasting blood sugar- none of it has worked- it’s still high!!! All my other levels though have been really good… So I still count myself as successful…
Labor signs: Just a general feeling of “ugh”… still contracting… been taking red raspberry leaf tea to try to tone everything up in preparation for “D day”… some cervical twinges- and I’m pretty sure baby has FINALLY moved into a better position… I’ll find out for sure tomorrow at my ultrasound.
Sleep: I could pretty much sleep all day, every day… except that I toss and turn a lot…. so even when I sleep, it’s pretty patchy sleep at best… but I’ll take whatever the heck I can get!!
Best moment this week: PMG has been super well behaved this week… we had a conversation about nipples- which was cool… I like that she feels comfortable and not awkward at all telling me/ asking me about things. I’m hoping this continues into her teen years!!
Worst Moment this week: Frustration over the weekend related to my GD… I had a big meltdown and cried a bunch and just felt miserable. Hormones and fluctuating blood sugar levels, being pregnant and having to REALLY strictly control my diet all make for a very emotional woman!! I’ve been doing pretty good keeping a positive attitude and keeping my chin up- but it’s hard when it feels as though I just get used to one complication, and another one crops up!!
Movement: Tonnes!! And I’m pretty sure baby has finally shifted positions!! Kicks are in a different spot and you can see from my belly even that baby isn’t sitting COMPLETELY sideways anymore… here’s hoping he/she moved head down and didn’t just move back into breech!!
Food cravings/aversions: I want a glass of wine… desperately. Or a steak with a huge loaded baked potato with a fresh salad and a beer. I want cake… and I would almost kill someone for ice cream!!
Belly Button in or out?: apparently it’s flat, as pointed out by my daughter (PMG) who thinks is hilarious… she was poking at it last night, at which point Peanut/Skeletor/Little Beast was kicking her back… it was totally awesome…
What I miss: ice cream… and wine… I do a lot of WHINING to make up for it… bahahahaahaaha…. get it??? I know, I’m lame…
What I am looking forward to: being able to drink a glass of wine once in a while- or have a beer with dinner… NOT having to stab myself 8 bloody times a day!! Having sexual activity that doesn’t involve sore-as-hell wrists and biceps…
Weekly Wisdom: “it’s like spinning a big mood wheel. Come on Happy! Happy! Happy… Sad…Happy…Sad..Horny..Horny!! Horny!! aaaah Bitchy! SHIT!” – in reference to my mood lately…
Milestones: nesting… not so full of the awesome when standing/ doing any activity more than 10-15 mins causes serious contractions…. It’s driving me nuts to not be physically able to do the things that I see NEED doing… if I could I’d be on hands and knees scrubbing my floors… and probably re-washing every bit of laundry in my house… and de-cluttering and and and….. I can’t- so that kinda sucks.. I’ve been doing little things though- like the day before yesterday- I tidied up the downstairs bath… it needs a serious decor overhaul though let me tell you!! It’s almost embarrassing… and that’s the bath that gets used when we have company… eeek!!!
Symptoms: tired, bitchy, sore, DONE… started nesting- it’s been interesting!!
So, as I said- my diet was not bad… with the EXTRA restrictions I’ve given myself due to the whole Gestational Diabetes debacle I managed to completely NOT control my blood sugars- but I DID lose 3 lbs in the last week… oh wait- I’m not supposed to be losing ANY weight… even though I was overweight to begin with, I’ve now only had a net gain of 15 lbs in this pregnancy. Which is not so good.
The good news: I FINALLY get to stab someone!!! Legally!!! The not-so-good news: that person is ME… twice a day now, I get to take insulin… oh goody goody gosh!!
I’m still feeling pretty positive though… I picked up a maternity support belt, and my hips, lower back and pelvic floor are all feeling much MUCH better! I can actually roll over in bed now without wanting to scream, or having tears come to my eyes- also, walking has become easier too- it doesn’t feel like everything in my abdomen is going to come falling out my cooch!! I know, it seems like such a small thing… it’s really not!!
As for the injections- I have to admit I was nervous. I had an appt. with the dietitian at public health- they also had the nurse come in to “teach” me how to give myself insulin. I was confident that there wasn’t much she could show me, which was correct- I’m only taking one type of insulin, so I don’t have mix insulins or anything. I’ve TAUGHT people how to self-inject before as a nurse… soooo I was thinking, how bad can this be?? Well, I can tell you that the first time you stab YOURSELF with a needle is SOOOOOOO way different than stabbing other people. I was shaking and hot, I was absolutely TERRIFIED!! But I did it- I actually poked myself in the belly with an insulin needle… and because I closed my eyes- I actually had to open them to make sure the needle was in because I didn’t feel it AT ALL!!! Woooo!! I must say, I have a whole new level of appreciation towards the women who have to do injectables- you ladies are INCREDIBLE!! Poking yourself with needles is HARD!!! Even when you are completely comfortable with needles. (Which I am- I’m one of those freaky people that WATCHES them poke me when I get blood drawn- usually laughing that they’ve missed the vein!!) So that’s that… The excitement for the day is pretty much over- I get to chill at home and relax for a bit before heading BACK to the city to take my daughter to the clinic for HER appointment with the pediatrician. That should be an interesting discussion- I’m thinking that she may need a dosage increase on HER medication because we have been having significantly more problems lately- to the point of her waking up at 3 am and not being able to get back to sleep even…. we’ll see how that goes… what her doc has to suggest. I trust him implicitly to give the best advice and not be a total ass to me- I used to work with him… so I know he’s good!!! 😛
Also, before I forget to mention: Also on the agenda this morning was the routine maintenance on our pretty pretty baby RAV… so in order to do our bits of running from clinic to public health and back to get the car our dealership has a courtesy shuttle- well, I must say that to the guys out there: YOU SUCK!! The girls who were driving the shuttle today both commented on how “PERFECT” my husband was- simply for the fact that he helped me into the vehicle (it was high, I am short and hugely pregnant!) and for opening and holding doors for me. Ok, so maybe this is a huge deal to most people- but SERIOUSLY!!??? This is the type of thing that used to be EXPECTED of men- not something that made a man the perfect husband… My hubs actually joked that he probably could have gotten a double-teamed blow job from them if he’d mentioned that he ALSO does all the cooking and cleaning right now! I thought it was hilarious!!! I admit- I DO have an awesome husband, but it also saddens me that more men aren’t like him. Courteous, and well-mannered and attentive. It’s also nice to have it reinforced that I most definitely have a keeper- not that I really needed the reminder!! Husband- if/when you read this: I love you- and you are incredible!! And of course- the PERFECT husband!!! Even when you’re aggravating the shit out of me or playing WoW!!! 😛
And that’s all for now folks!!